Does God Promise You a Spouse?

I am almost 44, still single, and not liking it at all. I have reached a point to where it is hard for me to enjoy a single day as long as I am alone. People keep saying you need to take time to know God, yourself and find hobbies. Well when you have been alone for 287 months out of the last 310 of your adult life, you have had PLENTY of time to get to know God, yourself, and do so much that you no longer find satisfaction in doing those things or anything new by yourself. Not to mention, when you go alone for decades, you might start having doubts on who you think God is and who you are. And doubt is of the devil. I have prayed for a wife for over 20 years and all I have come across is a series of broken hearts and agony. I now suffer from chronic depression that doesn’t seem to go away even when I think it has. My last girlfriend ended our short relationship 3 months ago and my depression is back in a horrible way in which I still feel like I am getting a preview of hell. I used to blame God. But now I see that it is not him, it is our screwed up modern American society. If it wasn’t for the sexual revolution, this forum wouldn’t exist because everyone who wants to be married would be married. People in general no longer want to commit, don’t want to work on relationships, bail when the slightest problems come up, want to shack up, have sex with all kinds of people, have kids out of marriage, etc. It has even affected our Christian society. For instance, I have met a lot of Christian women at church functions, thru friends, at work, etc. It seems like 85% of them already have kids out of wedlock even though they were saved and churchgoing when they did it. I know that we are not perfect and everyone makes mistakes, but something is not right. I can accept maybe 25%, but 85%? I have great respect for people who date others with children. But after trying it 6 times, it is not for me. If it was, God would not have allowed me to see and experience the things that I did those 6 times. Another point…when have you heard a sermon against fornication? It is rare. All that I need is my wife and I will be good. After all, there is a reason why the Bible says that for the sake of sin, let every man have is own wife. Also, why is it that 1 out of every 3 “Christian” marriage in the U.S. ends in divorce? Prior to the sexual revolution, it was only 1 out of 10. It is not God’s timing that a lot of us are not married, it is the timing that U.S. society has forced on us. If God is holding so many of us over 30 back from marriage, don’t you think that it is ironic that He started doing it around the same time that the effects of the sexual revolution became major? Prior to the last 40 years before the revolution, never before in the 6,000 of years of the institution of marriage have there been such a high rate of single 30+ somethings. And if someone tells you that you are still single because you are not ready, that is a lie. It is because most single people besides you are not ready. If everyone that you meet isn’t ready, then it doesn’t matter how ready you are. Plus, God is not going to GIVE you anyone because he gives us free will and will not force you or anyone to like each other. He will only provide for you to meet someone (and there is not much to meet that is Godly in today’s society). I have met three very great Christian women in my life that I really liked. But they all decided they didn’t want me long term. One even rejected me because I was not at least 6-feet (I am 5’8”), which appeared to be her ONLY inner downside that I could see. I met the last one back in 2003 and I haven’t met a good Christian woman that I have been attracted to or who would give me a chance since. And even if I do met another one, it doesn’t mean anything if she doesn’t accept me. I keep praying. But I have become kind of scared to pray for a wife given that in 20 years of doing so, I have only met women (including good Christian ones) who broke my heart and put me into states of depression. I have heard more men going to other countries where relationships are still respected to find wives. I don’t want to, but that is just what I might have to do because American society is against strong relationships and it will not get any better. I don’t want to discourage anyone, but I tell it like I see it.

And I don't think people are necessarily being "too demanding" of God, simply because we have strong desires for a partner, a spouse, intimacy, children, etc. These desires are just a normal part of being human, probably for most people. Sure, Christ offers "everything we need." Sure, we don't need romance/sex/marriage to survive. It's still a strong desire for many, and it's pretty painful when it's not met and you grow older and older. Why minimize or deny the pain? Being a Christian doesn't mean you have to pretend to be happy all the time. Admitting the pain isn't necessarily "complaining," or "grumbling" or expressing "discontentment." God can't necessarily "fulfill our hearts" in every respect. In a lot of basic ways. I can't have a normal conversation with God, like I can with a human being. I can't have my sexual desires met from some deity. I can't have "fun" with God. Etc., etc. There's a lot of basic things that make marriage enjoyable, and singleness hard. The "Jesus is enough" platitudes, well, aren't always enough, are they? I don't mean to sound like a whiner. These are just basic realities of life that make singleness difficult. It is a good point, however, that we ultimately decide who to accept and reject. I'm not sure what role God plays in that, if any. And, for sure, some of us need to go out and meet people. Sure, some people meet their partner by coincidence, when they're "not looking." These people, of course, are then convinced that God "brought them together" and encourage you to "wait on God's timing" and all the usual cliché Christianese advice. Easy for them to say. It's good to take action. So, yeah, I don't believe God promises any of us a spouse. Nor do I know how much God really involves Himself in our romantic lives. The Christians who end up finding love, however, seem to know that answer for certain, though, lol.

God is the one who said that, “ it isn’t good for man to be alone so I will make him a helpmate”. Many of us have been told that God has the perfect husband or wife for us. We prayed for years and when it never happened, we were left wondering, what did I do to cause the LORD to not answer my prayer for a spouse? We told others about our heartbreak but all we got in return was the empty, insensitive, cliche, slogan answers such as, just honor the Lord with your singleness, or it’s all in God’s timing, or being told that we sinned and God is punishing us, or we made an idol out of marriage. All that coming from those who found love in marriage. The desire to fall in love with another person and have them fall in love with you and to go through life together is a wonderful thing and when you get to an age where your youth is gone and the reality of starting a family is not possible, you are heartbroken because of the death of your hopes and dreams. Realizing that you have never experienced what others have achieved is very difficult to deal with and can cause bitterness towards the Lord and cause doubt about His love and you can lose faith in Him, as far as believing that He will answer your prayers.

I was very troubled to read men's posts about women. So hateful! I have been abused by men I have dated in so many different ways. Sexually, verbally, emotionally, spiritually, etc. I am a very kind girlfriend when I have a boyfriend. I make my boyfriend (when I have one) cookies and nice meals. I give lots of compliments, hugs, and kisses. Yet, inspite of all that I have done, I have been mistreated by most of the men I have dated. I have been called ugly, fat, shabbily dressed, too pale, boobs too small when I was skinny, etc. I am about to turn 40. I am still single because I just can't bear to be treated like that. Please do not assume that all women are cheap and mean. I have been badly mistreated by many men, and I, also, have thought that I would have been better off trying to find someone decades ago, maybe. People were more focused on love and commitment in the past. It is our modern society that is messing us up. This world has become about what people want, themselves, not about what is best for the people around them and for the world. Please do not say abusive and hateful things about women. It hurt me deeply to read those hateful comments. There are many, many kind and good men and women in the world. It might be more difficult to find love with people abandoning kindness in this world, but there will always be some good and loving people, right to the very end of the world. Maybe some men and women are still single because their standards are impossibly high. Men in the part of America that I live in keep breaking up with me because I am not earning enough money, because I do not watch football, and because I cannot afford to dress fashionably (I have to buy most of my clothes from thrift stores.) Essentially, the men here want "Sporty Millionaire Barbie," and are unwilling to accept anything less than perfection. Take a look at the list of what you are looking for in a woman. It might be time to think more about a woman's heart than if she is a perfect size 5, making a 6 figure salary, and sporty. You might just find someone special who is not any of those things. Someone far kinder and better for you than "Sports Millionaire Barbie", who might be mean, unkind, and shallow! (Though it is vastly unfair to assume that a beautiful and successful woman is shallow. Some of the most beautiful and successful women I have know have been just as sweet or even sweeter than less "ideal" women.) Trust in God's provision. He know that your heart aches for a spouse. I ache for a spouse too. At this point, a man who would love me and not abuse me and who loves the Lord is really all I want. I just do not want to be abused anymore. That is why I am single. Nice guys don't want me. Verbally abusive guys do. I just don't want to be abused anymore.

It is just too very bad that many of us single guys don't have a real time machine to go back in time when most women were real normal in those days and very old fashioned as well, which made love very easy to find at that time. Most women were definitely real ladies, and the very complete opposite of today which made love very easy to find for the guys back then that had no problem at all meeting the right good woman for them. Today most women are just so very pathetic to meet unfortunately, which is why so many of us men will never be able to meet a good one.

At the age of 41, why shouldn't I be angry at God that He has forced me to be single??!!

Hello All, I am a single woman who has mostly been in long term relationships but has had a few short ones. I am a product of an over 40 year marriage and there is literally only one way that I know to be in relationships. That being said, I go into relationships with the hope that it could grow into more. I hope to be married someday. I have experienced just about every possible bad thing in a relationship and still hope for the one relatio ship that knocks me off of my feet. I decided years ago to make the sacrifice of being abstinent 9 years ago in hopes that God would see my sacrifice and be pleased. However I still remain single and don't even have any prospects. Im not unattractive, im educated, and gifted. Mostly though I love God. Ive grown weary in waiting and it pains me to keep praying for the same thing. I feel like by now God has to get it right? My feelings have gone from disappointment to hurt to now approaching anger. I feel forgotten. No one else I know has or is making this sacrifice yet they seem to be blessed with what I've been praying for for over a decade now. Contrary to what the world says...nowhere in the Bible does it say that there's someone for everyone. But it does say that He will grant you the desires of your heart. Yet I FEEL FORGOTTEN. Like the desires of my heart dont matter to God. Like my sacrifices dont mean anything either. What is the reward when you do good, and try to stand for whats right and still...NOTHING? I'm beginning to wonder if im just spinning my wheels to no avail. We all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God but how is it that people who have no sacrifice ar regard seem to be blessed over me.. Any insight would help. Please don't fill me with fluff..ive probably already heard it by now.

People are giving up on putting faith in god for a mate and turning to other things to satisfy their need. Especially Christian men.. and especially when they have waited around and remained faithful to god and grown older and needed a female companion/wife. You might say, "well, the lord will comfort you and you have a relationship with god" - sorry, not the same and that relationship with a ghost DOES NOT answer the needs that god himself made us men or women with. And given the quality of young women (seemingly most but not all) in the USA these days, who have opened themselves up to the world, they become less and less desirable to answer the need for a mate, a wife, and mother for the christian man wanting to do what is right and to continue his lineage. God wants us to be faithful and to trust in him. We have. Time is not on our side and there truly is an enemy out there wanting to kill us..and he does that by temptation and sin. It's time for God to answer his people and be that provider that he says he is.. In the mean time, his bride is walking out - just like a woman with an abusive man does when she finally wakes up and gathers that strength to leave that abusive relationship.

What about a good looking single guy like me that keeps in very good shape with a very nice personality, and i still get rejected by women?

I can’t believe that I’m actually commenting on one of these things but I guess that it’s really come to this in my life. Anyway, here goes nothing. I am writing this from a young man’s perspective and I think it’s necessary for me to point out that you somewhat dance around the one huge, blatant issue that is sexual temptation. Maybe if you’re older and writing this you don’t vividly remember or perhaps never had experienced what it’s like to be stuck with a strong desire yet forcibly remain celibate. I write this as someone who (and I hate self bragging but will tell it like it is) is a pretty visually appealing person but doesn’t have the best social skills. Because of that it’s hard me to be in a relationship and ironically a lot of women (many of whom were quite attractive) in the past have only wanted me for sex. Why should I have to deny myself such things? God hasn’t provided me with a biblically moral relationship despite my incessant prayer for him to do so and the vibe I’m getting from this is just that I’m supposed to somehow brush the issue aside and somehow ignore it even though I have no control over it. Seriously, I didn’t ask for the biological drive to procreate (but I have repeatedly prayed for it to be taken away). As you can imagine, I don’t exactly have the most positive view on the big man upstairs right now. The urge to procreate is deeply embedded into us; it’s so powerful that animals in the wild are even willing to quite literally kill themselves just for mating success. Not to mention that we live in an age where there is a prominent hookup culture and porn is just one internet search away. I have remained abstinent because I thought I was doing the right thing. I turned down a lot of opportunities, especially in my teens, to have sex care free and now I feel like a chump for it. I’ve grown tired and resentful and it wouldn’t surprise me if I’m destined to die alone. I have to sometimes wonder if life is just some big impractical joke devised by God.

IM 61 YEARS OLD Every day I've asked God for a husband I don't know why I'm not worth loving . I watch people who have not served God get saved and a month later blessed with a mate. God. I watched my friends marry have children and grandchildren. Im not Angy at God but disappointed is an understatement I sit in Church alone never included in anything. Well there was that one time they insisted I stay for the church family dinner- it was Feb 14th and Valentines themed so I sat the fifth person and a table at the corner like the intruder I was They need me when they cant keep paid nursery care workers after all we can have married couples having to watch their own kinds So you reach a point where you watch church online and you give up praying to a silent God

Well then again just look at the very horrible and evil women that exist nowadays thanks to feminism.

I'm new to this site. I just want to say I'm sorry that loneliness exists. But please, don't turn away from Jesus. I'm praying for everyone. I Love you all, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths." (Proverbs 3:5,6)

I, too, often wonder if God cares about our romantic lives. I find Christianese ideas about soulmates fascinating, perhaps for morbid reasons. Of course, I also find them frustrating and sometimes even infuriating. If you're a cynic like me, these ideas make you scoff, snort, roll your eyes, and rub your hands with glee. I'm not saying this is a good place to be. I'm just explaining my human reaction to these ideas. Does God promise his followers a spouse if they desire one? No. The Bible doesn't mention this concept anywhere. In Matthew, Jesus clearly states that some people won't get married (19:10-12) The Bible has good things to say about both marriage and singleness. When Paul talks about this (1 Corinthians 7), he writes that, if you're single and struggle to control sexual desires, you should try to get married. In this case, the Bible encourages marriage. It does not, however, promise that it'll work out for you if you do decide to pursue it. He does say that not everyone has the gift of singleness. But I'm sure that there's many who lack this gift who, despite everything, still don't find mates. There's also married Christians who suddenly find themselves single due to freak accidents and unspeakable tragedies.This all sounds cruel and messed up, but we live in a cruel and messed-up world. It's not necessarily God's "plan" or God's "fault." It's just a harsh world we live in. Paul himself cautioned singles about marriage "because of the present crisis." If a Christian is single again because their spouse suddenly died in a freak accident, is that because God wanted to "bless" them with singleness again because of how amazing and wonderful it is? I doubt it. It's just a bad world we live in. According to some Christians, if you're single and never marry in your lifetime, it's because of God's will and calling. I don't know about that. How are we supposed to know that for sure, exactly? Sometimes people will say this will only be revealed to you through long sessions of "prayer/meditation/contemplation," or something like that. I've prayed over this for years, I still desire a relationship leading to marriage, and I still haven't experienced success in this area of life, and I still haven't "heard from God" on which path He supposedly wants for me. Maybe we just over-spiritualize the whole thing. And maybe God isn't all that concerned with it. Maybe He just leaves the choice up to us. I think cultural changes play a big role in the confusion. Dating is relatively recent phenomenon. In previous centuries of human history, parents were much more involved in finding mates for their children. These days, dating is sort of seen as something to do "for fun," rather than for economic reasons. Parents, secular and Christian, tend to leave their children on their own to explore the "adventures" of love and hope and pray that it all works out. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. But they still assume that God will come through for their kids. You see that at Christian weddings all the time. The parents will ususally come forward to pray for their children (usually into the microphone), and they almost always thank God for bringing their children together, and for answering the prayers of both parents and children. The assumption, of course, is that God played a key role in matching them and bringing them together.They won't be able to find a Bible verse that backs that idea up, but the assumption remains. I think, perhaps unconsciously, Christians and Christian pastors are drawn to the idea of soulmates because it offers an easy way out. There's no tough questions to ask, no obligation to practically help any Christian singles who desire marriage. "Not married? Want to get married? Discouraged or cynical about ever finding love? Not to worry! Just trust God and love Jesus! Everything will fall into place! Duh!....And if it doesn't work out, it's God's will and God's perfect plan, so stop complaining." If you do want to want to get married, it's very important to build social skills, financial wisdom, a stable and well-paying career, a place to live, etc. Those things are all crucial. But it's probably hard sometimes for pastors to find a way to fit practical advice about such topics into a sermon about Scripture. Is God some sort of cosmic matchmaker? Maybe, I don't know. If He is, well, He apparently forgot to inspire a biblical author to make that clear in the Bible. Maybe God has nothing to do with it. Maybe it's just good luck and bad luck. That might sound absurd to some people. Well, the Christianese theology of "soulmates" and "waiting on the Lord" sounds equally absurd sometimes. And it is difficult and often excrutiatingly painful. It's OK to admit that. It's not "idolatrous" to badly want marriage. It's always deeply hurtful to have such strong desires for good things that remain unfulfilled, while God seems to grant them to other Christians for no apparent reason. But maybe God didn't specifically decide to bless them with romantic love. Maybe those people just got lucky. It can sting a lot, and we don't have to pretend otherwise by inventing silly Christianese clichés about the "gift of singleness" and "Jesus being our spouse" and "Jesus being enough," and "being content" and "God will bring you a spouse" and other such nonsense. I still want a relationship and marriage very badly, and it's still painful when nothing ever seems to work out. It's tempting to sometimes "accept" your state with resignation and try to convince yourself that it's all a stupid, pointless waste of time. Will it ever work out for me personally? I don't know. Does God have a plan in mind for me specifically, or for any single or married Christian who's struggling and hurting right now? I don't know, and how on Earth is anyone supposed to know? Will I be able to endure singleness if it lasts a lifetime? Yeah, of course. It'll still be painful, discouraging and lonely, though. It's OK to admit that reality.

Guys, I want to share something with you that seems to be working for me lately. I've been working on giving up masturbation cold turkey. Though there were times when I've relapsed I have found that not doing it for a considerable amount of time (the longer the better) gives me a lot confidence and drive to better myself and my circumstances. I have found more confidence in talking to a girl I normally wouldn't have before, for example. I'm excited to see how far my life comes and what opportunities await me so long as I keep "behaving" and don't cave in. Discipline is key. Who knows? Perhaps my hopes and dreams of finding and marrying a magnificent girl will come true with the help of stopping that bad habit. Oh, God, please help me get ready for her and she be ready for me for that wonderful marriage I long for!

I have read a few comments and I do understand being lonely and wanting that connection with a human being. I’ve attended church where the majority of women are single. Lots and lots of single women. I urge people to mingle go out of their race if they have no problem and just get to know people as friends and then let things grow. Some are alone because we sit around we’re not outgoing and that’s fine but show yourself friendly and friends will come. Go out and attend church and or morally events. Introduce yourself to people. Join a church singles group even if at another church. I’m not giving up. I believe God has someone for me I’m his own time. In that time I work on myself too.

The very sad thing is that so many women today feel very entitled and really think they deserve the best instead of settling for less. Not to mention how very greedy, selfish, spoiled, and very picky that women have become nowadays making it even much harder for many of us single guys trying to find love now.

Maybe the reason Christian singles are so miserable is we are too earthly minded for any Heavenly good. Having a family is one of life's greatest joys. It grieves me to the point of sickness that I will never have one. For days I'm unable to eat, sleep, or stop crying. I sob so hard I get nauseated and don't leave my room. But the earthly family I missed out on will not be in Heaven. Marriage and childhood won't exist anymore. But the Bible promises we will be perfectly happy anyhow. Somehow Christ Jesus will take what we have suffered and missed out on here below and make it up to us for eternity. The Lord helped barren, post-menopausal Sarah and Elisabeth to conceive. He caused a virgin to bring His Son into this world. I don't believe He'll give me kids because He never promised me that miracle. But can't He give a woman like me something even better than children in the world to come? Can't He give me an even better love than any husband could in the hereafter? Jesus is not my boyfriend or husband. He is the real deal. Earthly husbands who truly love their wives are just shadows and types. Missing out on the shadow won't deprive me of the substance.

Wrong priorities is what I'm hearing in a lot of what has been said. Yes, I have been there too. But often we forget or ignore or disbelieve the scripture to "seek FIRST His kingdom and His righteousness and ALL of these things will be added to you" (Matt 6:33) Do you believe that God means what He says? That He really will meet your needs in His time, His way? Do you believe that "no good thing will He withhold from those whose walk uprightly (Psalm 84:11)? Do you believe that God is good ("He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not also with Him freely give us ALL things" (Romans 8:32 NASB). God loves us so much that He sometimes will not give us what we ask for to protect us from ourselves. It may be that we're not ready for that commitment and He alone knows the areas we are lacking. God is not a meanie who delights in your anguish. We need to get our eyes off ourselves and look to Him ALWAYS! God has no problem giving you a spouse. "I am the Lord, the God of all flesh; is any thing too difficult for Me?" (Jeremiah 32:27) Get into His Word (Holy Bible) every day, spend time praising and worshiping Him in prayer, pray for others, and cast this care upon Him because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). Learn, really learn to be content, satisfied with Him and that relationship, and yes even rejoicing in your singleness. Then you will be able to give unselfish love to that other special person when He brings her across your path (Genesis 2:22). She won't be under your expectations to "meet your needs" And you will experience the freedom that Christ died to give you!

I am reading this today, and I feel sad so many people are going through the pain I feel. It is hard to make sense of why certain people get love and happiness and others don’t. God makes babies for them and not us. I held my friend’s newborn baby in my arms the other day, and wanted to weep. I am alone. I can’t understand why. I am not unattractive and I don’t hate men. I get depressed about it, but life is not fun or fair. It seems like God gives some people everything, and we get nothing. I try to be happy for people who find love, I just feel sad for everyone who can’t.

God is so very rotten, mean, and nasty when he punishes many of us from not having a spouse, which is very normal to have when being single and alone all the time isn't right at all in the first place. Being married with a family is very normal, since the ones that have their loved ones to share their life with were very lucky and very extremely blessed from the start. It was like they were very meant to find their loved ones, and many of us unfortunately were very cursed by God to be single and alone all the time. God is very horrible unfortunately. And the very sad thing is that many of us aren't any different than the ones that have that. Why do we have to be by ourselves all the time when others are having their fun? Very funny that i see many articles like this that are always written by the ones that are married. What fools they're.

Reading articles like this, by people like Rob Eagar, is what made me frustrated enough to do what I needed to do to find a wife. To all the singles on here: I hear you. I was one of you. And if I can find someone, then so can you, because I'm not any better or any different than any of you. Don't listen to this garbage article, its based on very bad theology. I can say that because I read the book it was based on, by the same author. The gist of it is: Christians are "spiritually married" to Jesus and our "Heavenly Husband" should be our primary source of love. Like this article, the entire book is written in annoying and syrupy language that, quite frankly, does nothing but irritate the reader. This article is simply part of a long trend of evangelical "sexualizing" of the believer's relationship with Jesus. Don't believe this nonsense. None of it is Biblical.

Jamie, is there a way to talk directly to you on a dm? thanks

My biggest problem is that even though I believe there is someone out there for me, she lives too far away and I can’t meet them and it is the distance and ignorance of people we never met but would have been friends if we knew each other that divide us so much. We are limited to local and since our perfect other was not predestined to be born and live in our same city there is no way in the long distance we can ever get together in the first place unless God works out a miracle of unification. There is someone out there for everyone, the problem is finding them in the far away lands they are, locally is unlikely especially if you live in a bad area with a culture that is at odds with you.

It's in our nature to need the love the love of a partner and to need to love a that partner. I think in the ancient Hebrew culture marriage wasn't as it is today in the western culture. Wives were given to men. The first time God said something wasn't good was when he saw that Adam was alone. Even though Adam knew God and was sinless, it still wasn't good that he didn't have a partner. it's also that if you are a passionate man then get married. Marriage is so important that it says that not even unbelief is a reason for divorce. If you find comfort in god and that is all you need from life then good on you but what if loniless and the need for that kind of love is so important to you then you should seek it and ask God for it. I am human and I need human love, whatever that is. So much so that I don't want to live without it.

HE DID PROMISE A SPOUSE! Luke 18:29-30: “Truly I tell you,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times more in this age—and in the age to come, eternal life.”

Not only will I never have a husband or kids but friendship is denied me. Churches ignore you if you are lucky. My only social support comes from outside. Why are Christians so cruel and hateful to single women? Does God endorse this cliquish snobbery and snubbing others? I don't think so--His word condemns it. My guess is this coldness and petty selfishness (churches only want rich married folks, everyone else can literally go to Hell) is behind the death of the American church.

Have Question about what about Book of Genesis, what about Adam was given Eve? It is not good for man to be alone. That is why Adam's ribs was removed to form a woman. God promise us a new earth and a new heaven where Christ coming bring the righteous there. God still want us to be fruitful and multiply in marriage between a man and woman. Men will always be fathers and women are always mothers. The two become one flesh make children. Children need both parents to grow and development into thriving adults.

(Psalms 51:17) The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

Having found thoses versus. Read, Think, and pray about these things. Matthew 7 KJV 7. Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: 8. For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. 9. Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? 10. Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? 11. If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? 12. Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets. Luke 11 KJV 1 And it came to pass, that, as he was praying in a certain place, when he ceased, one of his disciples said unto him, Lord, teach us to pray, as John also taught his disciples. 2 And he said unto them, When ye pray, say, Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, as in heaven, so in earth. 3 Give us day by day our daily bread. 4 And forgive us our sins; for we also forgive every one that is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil. 5 And he said unto them, Which of you shall have a friend, and shall go unto him at midnight, and say unto him, Friend, lend me three loaves; 6 For a friend of mine in his journey is come to me, and I have nothing to set before him? 7 And he from within shall answer and say, Trouble me not: the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot rise and give thee. 8 I say unto you, Though he will not rise and give him, because he is his friend, yet because of his importunity he will rise and give him as many as he needeth. 9 And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. 10 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. 11 If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent? 12 Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? 13 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him? (Mathew 21:22) If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer (Mark 11:24) Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. (Luke 18:1-8) And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint; Saying, There was in a city a judge, which feared not God, neither regarded man: And there was a widow in that city; and she came unto him, saying, Avenge me of mine adversary. And he would not for a while: but afterward he said within himself, Though I fear not God, nor regard man; Yet because this widow troubleth me, I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me. And the Lord said, Hear what the unjust judge saith. And shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto him, though he bear long with them? I tell you that he will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth? In russain version KJV it replaces the word "avenge" with "protect" (Romans 5:1-2 KJV) Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. (Romans 3:21-26) But now the righteousness of God without the law is manifested, being witnessed by the law and the prophets; Even the righteousness of God which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all and upon all them that believe: for there is no difference: For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus: Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God; To declare, I say, at this time his righteousness: that he might be just, and the justifier of him which believeth in Jesus. (Psalm 37:4) Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. (Psalm 145:19) He will fulfil the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them. (Proverbs 10:24) The fear of the wicked, it shall come upon him: but the desire of the righteous shall be granted. (Galations 5) 1 Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage. 2 Behold, I Paul say unto you, that if ye be circumcised, Christ shall profit you nothing. 3 For I testify again to every man that is circumcised, that he is a debtor to do the whole law. 4 Christ is become of no effect unto you, whosoever of you are justified by the law; ye are fallen from grace. 5 For we through the Spirit wait for the hope of righteousness by faith. 6 For in Jesus Christ neither circumcision availeth any thing, nor uncircumcision; but faith which worketh by love. 7 Ye did run well; who did hinder you that ye should not obey the truth? 8 This persuasion cometh not of him that calleth you. 9 A little leaven leaveneth the whole lump. 10 I have confidence in you through the Lord, that ye will be none otherwise minded: but he that troubleth you shall bear his judgment, whosoever he be. 11 And I, brethren, if I yet preach circumcision, why do I yet suffer persecution? then is the offence of the cross ceased. 12 I would they were even cut off which trouble you. 13 For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another. 14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. 15 But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another. 16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. 17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. 18 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law. 19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, 20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, 21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, 23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. 24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. 26 Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another. Ecclesiastes 12:1 & 12:12-14 1 Remember now thy Creator in the days of thy youth, while the evil days come not, nor the years draw nigh, when thou shalt say, I have no pleasure in them ... 12 And further, by these, my son, be admonished: of making many books there is no end; and much study is a weariness of the flesh. 13 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. 14 For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil. (Mark 12:29-31) 29 And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord: 30 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. 31 And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these. In my conclusion. Read Eelesiastes & Job. For nothing is garanteed in life. It is wise from hence for to fear the lord and follow his commandments. So that we may not fall away from faith. The only garantee that faith gives us in life is that we will be saved and have eteranal life through Jesus Christ and what he has done on the cross. So let us not focus on ourselves or the world. For the world is vanity and as well as our desires of the flesh. But let us focus on Jesus Christ. Proverbs 21:2 - "Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart."

After scrolling through all of the 749 comments. This whole thing reminds me of the book of Job from the bible. This book is the best for this whole article and all the comments. Sometimes the best thing to do is to humble yourself and do what you can for today. For those who are Athiest. I encourage to walk at the path the seems the most truthful. And keep searching for the truth. And do what seems most right for you do it. If your 50 and single and misearble. Read the book of Job from the bible. My prayers go out to you all.

These articles are all shallow. They say God should be enough. Well then why does God talk about the gift of singleness, implying not all have it? They don't quote the bible when it says, "it is not good for man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him". They don't quote Proverbs- "he who finds a wife finds a good thing", "a prudent wife is from the lord". Our culture is also under judgment. That's why many are single and the judgment is likely to get worse not better. As a culture, we deserve the judgment. As individuals, we don't always deserve this mess and the chaos. Much better more real arguments could be written. Older age is kinder to men, younger age is kinder to women, but I imagine many women just slip into their 40s and fifties and stop speaking out, becoming silently resigned. It's true we're all going to die. Focus on that. Ashes to ashes. We're like grasses in the field, but it's insulting and misses the point to say God is enough when the bible itself makes clear where God stands. You're like Job's friends. But you allow comments, and that's good. Wisdom- wisdom we need. Wisdom. It is better than gold and silver. Wisdom forces us to look at ugly hard truths. Want to be transformed by the renewing of your mind? One way is through wisdom. Men and women are different. Women should pursue if they want to have a kid. When they do, they almost always get somebody. Men can't go around chasing everyone in a circle. Men need to build a refuge for women to enter into, and they need to seek honor and leadership and service. Everyone needs to acknowledge the pain and do a deep self-evaluation. It's far better to endure suffering than to distract yourself. Join groups and get connected and develop a reputation of the one who honors others like no other. If you fail to apply these principles, you are likely to continue suffering, if you have been suffering, and it will probably get worse. Face the suffering head on, and even then be fearful of vain hope. Humility is your friend, action is your friend. Hope is a false friend. Hope is the devil just as much as despair. Despair can even be an angel sometimes. We are under judgment to be true, but that is not an excuse.

It figures that a brainless woman like her had to start a topic like this when she herself is married with a family.

Perhaps you would prefer to meet and court for three years a women who you love, marry, start a family. With first son born after a year and second son 5 years later...during that 5 years both were reintroduced to Christ and the church...both learn and grow together as husband and wife and a family, raising two boys...the first graduates and goes away to attend college and flight school...second son does equally well with school, friends, and football...son is going to be getting his drivers license the beginning of the summer...you can imagine that day as the first major step in his adolescence and independence...It is also freedom from having to transport him daily for sports, school, and friends...it is just an early reminder and "gift" that makes you anticipate a time in the very near future that will resemble a time in your early relationship and marriage when you can focus on and enjoy each other...an opportunity to refocus on couples activities...this is the indicator that a change in the season of your life is coming, "empty nest"...unfortunately the bitter sweetness that is normally felt and expressed at a child's milestone achievement that advances their independence and diminishes their reliance on you...Imagine one week before getting his drivers license, your wife of 22 years, 25 years together, informs you that she is moving out with your son and she wants to end the marriage...translated that is: Destroy our family, destroy family legacy, taint all past memories, force acceptance and normalization of secular dysfunctional relationships and marriage onto next family generation, our grandchildren and our son's future wives their families, deprive our future grandchildren the blessing of intact healthy loving family support structure...Loss of effectiveness and credibility to counsel family on relationship related issues...doubled the cost of both our monthly living expenses...double our workload for household chores...All negative and destructive results and damage for two generation...longer if the next generations do not suffer in their own relationships due to the example that's been set...and then being forced unwillingly and unnecessarily to be alone, and for the rest of my life at the age of 50...it has been 7 years since I was sent away and as you can probably tell that I am still grieving and will until the day I die...divorce is devastating to the mind and soul...especially when there is and was no moral or credible reason of it...it only takes one person to destroy you entire life's dreams, family, and there is no explanation required...At 52 I cannot "try again", even if I wanted to with the right woman, because I obviously didn't choose wisely...It is betrayal of the highest magnitude...If she murdered me I think that would have been less of a betrayal for me...God hates divorce. She didn't want the stigma or questioning about "what happened" or worse yet people asking others that recognized a name changed in school related directories or other places...The private Christian school that we were with for 18 years...She chose divorce but refused to surrender my family name...That's ok if she didn't want the stigma or scrutiny of being a devoted Christian wife who divorced her husband for what must be a very good reason???...something unforgivable??? one could only imagine...So don't worry about not finding your youth wife...there will plenty of opportunity to find and choose a betrayer...for betrayal and loss

Just look at how many very evil rotten stuck up low life loser women have become nowadays since God really created these monsters in the first place unfortunately unlike the old days when most women back then were the very complete opposite of today and real ladies as well which made meeting a good woman back then real easy too. No wonder why our parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles really lucked out in those days when they met one another. Most women had a lot of class at that time compared to the misfits that exist today which is why meeting a good woman now to become our wife has really become so very impossible today too. Very hard for God to promise many of us single guys a spouse since God really made a very awful mistake creating these kind of women today that will never ever be marriage material at all in the first place. It was just too very bad for many of us single guys being born in the wrong Era today, otherwise many of us would've been very easily married with a family of our own had we been born back then.

It seems everyone that says this is married smh, so not fair! Ive been celibate for 7 years, 54 years old and witness 80 percent getting married who shacked had sex before marriage and still gets blessed with spouses and if you asked half of the church did they wait before marriage to have sex they will reply no.

Getting tired of saying table for one at the restaurant.

If only God had created women like the old days when women were so much nicer to meet back then, and there wouldn't be so many single and lonely men today either.

Respectfully, I disagree with some of this, please don’t take this as me attacking or bashing anyone, rather, I’d like to share some thoughts on this. Yes Jesus is our bride with whom we will be united one glorious day, yes He should be our first priority, yes marriage won’t complete you. However, that doesn’t mean that pursuing marriage is wrong, we live in a day and age in which marriage is being bashed and is declining meanwhile abortion, sodomy, cohabitation, hookups, open relationships, and other forms of sexual immorality are abounding. What used to hide in the dark now walks in broad daylight, so I’d argue that we need more Godly marriages and families. I also don’t agree with the idea that we shouldn’t expect marriage because it’s not promised in the Bible, there are a lot of things not promised, jobs, health, college, tomorrow, financial stability, yet we walk in faith with these because we know that God provides, that if we ask in His will, He will provide. Why is marriage the only thing that we discovered people from seeking? Lastly, if we shouldn’t seek marriage because Jesus is enough, then why don’t we sell our houses, since Heaven is our home, never eat or drink water again because Jesus is the bread of life and living water, never exercise or eat well because this body will pass away, quit our job since we’re laboring for the Kingdom, give up every earthly need because Jesus is enough. Again, I’m not trying to bash or tear down, rather, share my thoughts and reconsider how we encourage singles, I myself am single and would like to be married someday, not because Jesus isn’t enough, but because it’s a wonderful blessing, God bless.

If God didn't create such very retarded women nowadays which many of us single guys would've met the right one.

Most times we are busy blaming God where we ought to be taking responsibilities for ourselves. If you are not finding the right partner, it is because you are searching for them in the wrong places. If you need a godly partner, go to where godly people hang out. Could be at a bible college, camps, prayer meetings, etc. God is not going to throw down a mate for you from heaven. As a man, you need to go actively search for your mate or get friends to make referrals for you. Do not sit idly in your houses blaming God and calling him names over your own laziness to get someone. Why not change your attitude. Perhaps something about you is not right and is repelling the right one from locating you. Or God may see you as a poison cos of your current attitude. He doesn't want you destroying another's life. Why not work on yourselves. Read books and improve on your attitudes. With love, Rebecca E. from Lagos, Nigeria

I randomly came across this article and have spent a long time carefully reading all the comments posted here. I must admit, I wept. Your pain is palpable. A single woman, I have been alone all my life. I trust God's plan for my life, but the grief at seeing my hopes and dreams fading is often too heavy to bear. Unfortunately I have reached an age where - at least in the world's eyes - I am the punchline of a movie joke. Much of what you have all said pierced my heart because they are the same cries and anguish I have poured out before the Lord. At times I felt like I was reading my own words. If anyone is still reading this, I just want to let you know that I hear you and understand. I really do.

WOW! I appreciate the honesty and vulnerability of this article and the testimonials of those that shared their angst and frustration with being single. May I say it's Not your fault that your single. Singleness isn't bad nor a curse. GOD never speaks negatively against it in the Bible. Singleness and Marriage is a Choice. Both are Good. Most Marriages in Biblical times were arranged and a Business decision. Sadly, most of the Congregations today haven't did a good job with caring, affirming, validation and discipleship of Single Adults. They made Marriage an Idol.

Wow, i can really see why so many singles are very upset not finding their other half.

I’m also waiting.. it seems that so many are alone, yet we don’t find each other.

dumbest bullshit I ever read

With so many wack job low life loser feminists and narcissists women everywhere nowadays to begin with, why would God give me a spouse anyway? No thanks.

This write up is so deep, I'm definitely going to have to read through over and over again.💙💙💙 God bless you for this.🙏🙏🙏 The subject of love can never be over emphasized.

WOW! I appreciate the honesty and vulnerability of the article and comments. Singleness and Marriage are both Good Choices and GOD doesn't discriminate not lift one above the other. It does say in 1 Corinthians that you will have trouble in Marriage. I know happy single people and I know Miserable Married people. Divorce is extremely high in the Christian Church. Why? lack of knowledge and understanding of what the Purpose of Marriage and that's to like a type of CHRIST and the Church. To expand the Kingdom of GOD with a Godly Generation and to Glorify GOD. If this isn't the reason and purpose for you wanting to be Married, then you're in for a very rude and painful awakening. Marriage isn't to fulfill All your wants and needs nor complete you or make you whole. People can get Married but no guarantees that they'll Stay Married or be Content. Marriage is HARD and so is Life. It's responsibility, commitment, accountability, investment, luxury and a Risk. It's not enough to Love your Spouse if you don't like being with them. Marriage in Biblical times was often arranged for business purposes. There's also a lack of Naomi's that is Matchmakers. Marriage isn't to be idolized which has happened in today's congregations. MARRIAGE isn't meant to solve your problems or cure loneliness. I know some lonely Wives. Ask yourself, Why do I want to be Married? If it's for sex, children, problems, loneliness; those are the WRONG reasons. There's nothing worse than raising a child in a Miserable Marriage. Seek to Live and Enjoy Life Daily with or without a spouse. Get out the house And Live. Meet new people, go to new places. Travel locally, state, internationally. Don't waste your Life waiting on a spouse. That's real misery 💯. Blessed ❤️