Video Transcript:

You are in a relationship, and you are thinking, “Is this person the one? Are we going to end up together and get married?” Well, let me make a couple of suggestions. If you are going to end up with someone and you get married, there are a couple of things you can do now, early in the relationship, which is going to make the marriage better.

Be Friends

Work on the friendship. A lot of time people feel really attracted to someone. It is fun and it makes them feel great. Then they get married and there is no real foundation for the relationship in the long term.

I’m sorry, but once you get married, it is not like you are going to have sex 24 hours a day. You need something else in your marriage. And the one thing that keeps couples together the most is the ability to laugh together. So find stuff you can do together that you like, whether it is biking, or doing puzzles, or playing Scrabble on the computer. It doesn’t matter what it is, just make sure there are a lot of things you enjoy doing together. It is more important to be friends than it is to be lovers.

The second thing is to ...

keep your sexual involvement to a minimum until you are married

The people who wait to have sex until they are married statistically end up with the best sex lives and the best marriages. I know that doesn’t seem realistic today, but it is actually true.

If you concentrate on developing your friendship with the other person, you are going to know if this is the right person because you are going to know them on a deeper level. Having sex with someone builds a pseudo-intimacy that might not actually reflect reality.

So, save the sex for later and work on building up your friendship. If you do, and this person turns out to be the right one, your marriage will be stronger for it.

Photo Credit: Heather Mount