Alone and discouraged, I stared at my computer screen. I was frustrated by the way my life had turned out. I’d worked hard to hold onto remnants of hope for my marriage, but each day that summer I could feel it slipping through my fingers. I felt so alone. God was still there, I knew, but I longed for people who would talk back. Late at night, I wished I could communicate with someone who might understand my questions and respond with compassion. My heart ached with the pain of rejection. I felt so ashamed when I faced friends who knew us as a couple. It seemed like my world was falling apart. I needed encouragement. So here I was, seriously considering going into a chat room.
As I stared at my screen, I wondered. Would there be people who were safe? Would I be able to connect with others who would remind me of what I’d been taught as a child — that God loved me even then, that he’d not given up on me? Would I find friendship or face rejection because of my journey? Perhaps I would remain silent; I didn’t have to share my pain. I had heard the online world was a strange one, and I’d never seen a chat room. Cautiously, I clicked on the button inviting me to chat.
Welcome to chat
“Welcome to the room, we’re glad to have you! How’d you find our chat room?” someone asked. Soon I was welcomed not only to the chat room, but into some amazing relationships with women who cared.
Over the next several weeks I began to share my journey. Here were ladies who knew and loved God. They knew his compassion toward the broken-hearted and were willing to listen to my pain. Like salve on an open wound, their care brought comfort to a wounded heart. I didn’t know it that night, but they would continue to build into my life over the next several years. They took time to share the hope that they’d found as they too had faced the unexpected. We spent time in prayer together as I faced a healing journey, one not of isolation but of renewed community.
As I opened my heart to new friends, I found a place where I could be real with my hopes, dreams, questions, and disappointments. These long-distance friends reminded me that God would never turn his back on me. He would keep his promises. Over and over they reminded me that his plans for me were good plans, ones full of hope and purpose. With their support, I began to reach out to others who were hurting and to share the way God was working in my own life with women who faced similar challenges.
God had not set me aside
In time I realized that life was not over. God had not rejected me nor set me aside. I had an opportunity to reach out to others. I could help. The chat room became a place of hope and excitement as I saw God actively at work in my own life and the lives of others! As I opened my heart toward others, my own life was changed.
Every week I would me visitors from around the world. Some came with the pain of a broken relationship, a shattered dream, or a difficult question. Others brought with them the lessons that they’de learned on their own journey as well as gifts of hope, refreshment, and friendship. Each visitor came with a story and a heart that is seeking. The search may be for a friend, for someone to listen and understand, for advice, for new direction, or an affirmation that God still cares.
I was thrilled as I saw uplifting friendships develop in the chat rooms. As we shared our lives and hearts with one another, many of us saw growth and change! I thank God for the way he used online friendships and discussions to restore hope in my life. For those who reached out to me, I cannot thank you enough. My life has been touched and changed.
Have you ever wondered what kind of help you might find online? Although chat rooms are no longer as possible as they once where, thelife.com offers an online mentoring service that is free and confidential. If you would like to connect with a caring and compassionate Christian willing to join you in your journey, why not fill in the form below? Online mentoring might be just what you’ve been looking for.
What hit home for you in this article? Would you like to discuss anything in particular? Just fill in the form below and one of our mentors will get back to you as soon as possible.
Our mentors are not counsellors.
They are ordinary Christians willing to step out in faith and join people on their spiritual journey in a compassionate and respectful manner.
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Hi. Im broken hearted. And lost.i was left m taken back a few times. Now I feel broken inside . I feel alone
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Reba
4 years ago
Hello
CS
christian Smith
4 years ago
Hi my name is Christian and I'm 25 and have an addiction to porn and can't seem to break it
El
Elizabeth
4 years ago
Hello New here too. Im 40 married a man that is 50 and recently found out he was cheating on me with his 26 yr old hr rep
He
HeartbreakHotel
5 years ago
Going through a break-up. Shattered and torn but not mad at him. I just miss him. Anyone else play every single moment of their relationships over again on repeat?
Id
Idon'tknow1234
4 years ago
Hello
Ni
Nicole
5 years ago
NICOLE 39 :Hello this is my first time ever on here. I'm finding myself lost confused drained tired of crying. I have been in a one-sided friendship going on 7 years and even though I'm sad and crying everyday. I cant seem to walk away
De
Devoted&Broken
5 years ago
Trying to get past a horrible break-up.
De
Devoted&Broken
5 years ago
Anyone there?
De
Devoted&Broken
5 years ago
hey
He
Heartbroken1
5 years ago
hello
TM
Tanya Mikesell
5 years ago
Hello
No
Noone
6 years ago
Has anyone suspect their husband is cheating on them?
Why would a husband call a woman on and off work and delete call history and message histories and it was rumoured at work that they have a relationship. Should I believe he’s really cheating on me, his wife.
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Hope
6 years ago
Hello I trying find someone on here to talk to. I am having complexed problems in my marriage.
Ho
Hope
6 years ago
Hello my name is Hope
Br
BrokenBottle
6 years ago
Sorry I just need someone to talk to not sure if this is a good idea
Ha
Hani
6 years ago
Hi
Fe
Felicity
7 years ago
I need help. I’m lost as to what to do anymore and need help saving a relationship that is more than worth it
Ji
Jim
7 years ago
Hello?
An
angel
7 years ago
hi
Ca
Calvin
7 years ago
Hi
Ha
Haró.
7 years ago
Neat
Ja
Jamie
7 years ago
Hi Lucy, if you would like to connect with folks in a chat room you can go to https://thelife.com/chat and you can look and see when there will be someone there to talk with you.
Are you looking to chat about something specifically or just general conversation?
LC
Lucy Castellano
7 years ago
my first time here nobody home
LC
Lucy Castellano
7 years ago
hello everyone
Pa
Paul
10 years ago
I'm 54 and have a 10 year old son who I adore. I was with him and his Mom until last April when she attacked me physically for no apparent reason. She has kept me from seeing or speaking to him because she lied to get an order of protection. We are in court now and they arranged for me to see him. I saw him last Saturday for the first time in 9 months. I am so devastated because he has Aspbergers and when I left it was hardly noticeable but now it's very bad. His mother is so evil for putting our son and I through this. I was always loving and did all I could for her and nothing was ever enough. I am very alone now and dealing with this without any support. I've been grieving all the time. Heartbroken.
El
Elkay
9 years ago
Toni, I am very sorry about the state you find yourself in just now. We have freely available mentors who will come alongside you with support in confidence. If you will hit the "Talk to a Mentor" button near the top right of this page, briefly tell us what's going on, and someone will reply back to you by email.
Meanwhile, there are many things in this world we "hope" for. We hope for a raise in our salary or that our favorite team will win the Super Bowl. When the Bible speaks of hope, however, it is a firm conviction that the future promises of God will be fulfilled. Hope is not mere wishing, but is an assurance of what will come to pass.
Christ promises us the "living hope" of an imperishable inheritance in heaven. Everyday desires will fade away, but our eternal heavenly home is our ultimate security and anchor when life's storms hit. What about when our situation isn't improving—then, what's the Lord doing then? Those times that God does not deliver us from difficulty, we can be sure He is doing a greater work within us to make us more Christ-like.
"Heavenly Father, nothing is impossible for You and You have invited us to Your throne of grace to find help and mercy in out times of trouble. Toni is in a rough place right now and so we ask You to supernaturally assure her of Your love and presence in her life. She needs to know how valuable she is to You as she was created in Your image and You gave us Jesus as her Lord and Savior. Encourage her to reach out for a mentor and bless her in such a new relationship. This is our prayer in Jesus' name. Amen."
To
Toni
9 years ago
Ok not sure how to do this, just feeling so alone right now hoping to talk to someone who cares and would like to talk, feeling worthless and not liking myself much. The word hope pulled me in.
El
Elkay
9 years ago
Courtney, I am very sorry about the difficulties you have faced and maybe a chat room can be helpful. In the above article, two things jump out. First, the author found "ladies who knew and loved God" and after awhile, she "began to reach out to others who were hurting." Both of these are important to remember as you go forth and you may even find that a Women's Ministry in a local church is a place where you can find them in addition to putting a face on a voice. Another venue to consider is to hit the "Talk to a Mentor" button on this page and a trusted Mentor will come alongside you in confidence by email for support.
You mentioned having no purpose and that reminded me of a Jimmy Evans' teaching that every one of us are driven by needs for Acceptance, Identity, Security and Purpose. He goes on to say that no (mere) human can meet those needs - that only in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ will these basic needs be met- and that in marriage (in particular), such a relationship is the single most important factor for success. That is true in any kind of a friendship, even outside marriage, because none of us have the love, wisdom, resources and power that belong to God alone. I will attach a link to that lesson on Youtube in case you want to see the real event.
Let me say one other thing because you can be healed by Jesus and one day in the future may entertain the idea of marriage. Marriage is an institution, a covenant, not just a commitment or a contract. In marriage the way God intended, each spouse promises to love the other regardless of the other's performance. Marriage is recognizing that God created our spouse specifically for me so of course we love, honor, treasure our spouse as a gift from our perfect God. This gift may not seem "perfect" in our eyes but we remember that God is at work in their life transforming them as He sees fit. Please make certain that this describes where you and another person are as you go into the future.
Here is Jimmy Evans' lesson on "The Most Important Issue in Marriage", published on Jul 15, 2016, and it reads, "Everyone has been hurt and frustrated in relationships. Today you can experience great compassion and hope. It begins by understanding the danger of depending on others to meet your deepest needs."
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERc...
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Courtney
9 years ago
I feel extremely lonely maybe because I am grieving. I was in a relationship for about 10 years with a man who didn't love me back. He showed me no affection and no love. I then seemed to start having feelings for a friend of mine who was dying of cancer. He fought from December until May. I stood by his side and took care of him until he passed away. I feel lost without him and I feel as though he was the love of my life. I feel that there is no one out there for me who would loves me for me and feel as though I have no purpose anymore. I feel as if I'm giving up on love and I'll be alone forever. I keep giving 100 percent of myself and getting kicked in the mouth.
Co
Courtney
9 years ago
I feel extremely lonely maybe because I am grieving. I was in a relationship for about 10 years with a man who didn't love me back. He showed me no affection and no love. I then seemed to start having feelings for a friend of mine who was dying of cancer. He fought from December until May. I stood by his side and took care of him until he passed away. I feel lost without him and I feel as though he was the love of my life. I feel that there is no one out there for me who would loves me for me and feel as though I have no purpose anymore. I feel as if I'm giving up on love and I'll be alone forevee
To
Tom
10 years ago
xxamberxx--
What seems to be the problem? You can either discuss it publicly via this chat, or click on "Talk To A Mentor" at the top right of this page to be connected to someone privately, one-on-one.
Xx
xxamberxx
10 years ago
Hi, i'm heartbroken in many ways,
help.
Al
Aldo
10 years ago
Kobus, I will certainly pray for you. It would be nice to know what to pray for: (what your sickness is, and why you are so helpless and useless), and what problems are stressing you out. Let's pray:
Lord, I do not know what kind of help Kobus needs, but You do, and I ask that You would touch him right now with Your precious Holy Spirit, and meet whatever needs he has. Bring healing where there is sickness, faith where there is fear, comfort where there is sadness, confidence where there is doubt. Give him smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow his clouds, laughter to kiss his lips, sunsets to warm his heart, hugs when his spirit sags, beauty for the ashes of his depression, eyes to see the positive instead of the negative, friendships to brighten his being, faith so that he can believe, courage to face the unknown, patience to accept the truth, and love to fill his life, in Jesus Name I pray. Amen.
Kobus, if you would like to speak one on one with someone, click on Talk to a mentor button at the left bottom of this page. A person will be happy to chat with you about whatever issues you may have.
Ko
Kobus
10 years ago
Hi All Just Want a Prayer for My Sickness and I'm Helpless and Useless Plz I'm Stress about Problems Will Be Glad if someone can help me
BA
banke adigun
10 years ago
Hi, I'm banke and i'd like to chat
LJ
Latosha Jackson
10 years ago
I been married for 11 years, but my husband hurt me by being in volve with other women. I forgave him, but I feel like I want to get revenge on him. It's been a year since I found out, however I know that Im wrong for feeling this way. Please keep me in your payer's that I fight for my marriage God's way.
Sh
sharon
10 years ago
to Paul-- prayer--father God I pray for Paul right now I pray for Christians to come along his path to encourage him and I pray also for people who have gone through this will come along him for support and give him support during this time how sad for you I pray for favor to see his son and get support too I pray all of this in JESUS name amen I am praying for you-- sharon
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Chris
10 years ago
montague....sorry if you are struggling in your relational life!....this topic is somewhat close to me because my own sister would never let go what she thought was the only person she could ever marry. as a result of not allowing God to be the one to choose for her her husband, she is now stuck in a nursing home/community center where at the age of 63 she has accomplished absolutely nothing of real importance in this world as God would have liked her to, simply waiting to leave the world she never allowed God to show her her purpose for being in it. i would hope that you wouldnt make the same mistake, but rather allow God through jesus christ to come into your life and show you his great plan he has for you. you can find out how to do that by logging onto knowingjesuspersonally.com or by clicking talk to a mentor above. i pray you would so that you dont allow any one person to ruin the life that only jesus has given to you and wants to fulfill through you. blessings!
Mo
Montague
10 years ago
I don't wanna be the negative voice here , but the thing is that we simply get better as days go by .. nothing more or less!
we keep saying to eachother the healing words like : some day you'll find the true love , or someday you'll meet the one who deserves you , etc.. but in the scheme of reality nothing of this should be taken seriously .. because the ones who broke our hearts are the ones we truely love .. the ones we really want, and wish to spend lifetime with .. and now they've gone .. if i take myself as an example i'd say that i don't want a better girl that would love me and appreciate me more than my heartbreaker did .. I don't want any other girl .. i'll never love or feel any one like i do now toward the one how left me .. there's only one time we feel such a thing in our lives .. ONE .
and whatever happens , noone would take our lover's place ..
i'm not an English speaker .. sorry if my English is bad..
Ch
Chris
10 years ago
naomi...so sorry to hear of your situation....having been abandoned by my wife years ago, i can identify with your sorrow. the fact of the matter is that in this world, the only person we can truly count on to never leave us is jesus christ. he alone has the true love we need to be secure in and know that no matter what happens or who leaves, he wont. i would encourage you to log onto knowingjesuspersonaly.com or click talk to a mentor above to being your own personal and secure spirital love reationship with jesus today. that way, no matter what happens in life, you will never be alone! praying for you now that jesus fills your life with his love and peace and the many blessings he has in store for you!
Na
Naomi
10 years ago
I'm heartbroken and alone my husband has left Mr for someone else I'm devastated and don't know how to get past it