My cheeks burn at the mere thought of soliciting a helping hand. I’d dwell in solitude on a deserted island, in perfect bliss, if life allowed. I’d eat fresh fish every day, read books while basking in the sunshine, and swim in the gentle ocean waters. But life is not so idyllic. Someone has to catch the fish, sunburn happens, and the ocean churns up crashing waves.
For me, the ocean churned in the form of an anxiety attack. For years, I lived an independent lifestyle (though not as pleasant as my tropical-island fantasy), working two jobs to save for college, living alone and paying bills, and locking my anxious feelings inside while believing I had them under control. No one had to know as long as these emotions did not affect my life.
But these feelings did affect my life, my worries building up until I reached a breaking point, an anxiety attack. Of course I prayed for God’s healing before this point, but I did not confide in others. I opened my home to Jesus as Martha did, but I was so distracted with hiding my feelings that I forgot to sit at Jesus’ feet as Mary did.
When I turned my eyes to Jesus, God’s message rang loud and clear: ground myself in the presence of Jesus, listen, and do. At God’s call, I turned first to Jesus and listened and then to others for spiritual support. The Holy Spirit moved through my life, providing peacefulness in the present, a feeling that can only come from God.
As a result of my sharing, family and small group members now pray for me, knowing the prayers I need. I calm and strengthen my mind with tools such as mindfulness and journal writing, using God’s Word as an anchor for affirmations and in writing about my experiences. I share pieces of my story in devotionals, praying my words spark recognition of God in others’ lives. And instead of feeling embarrassment and discomfort about my anxiety, I experience others’ love and encouragement in others’ faith.
This experience has taught me that no matter my situation or spiritual need, turning my eyes to Jesus leads to living my most idyllic life, one with God at my side.
Father in Heaven, I thank you for the presence of your Son so I can ground myself in you. May I find wisdom in your Word when the ocean churns and when it lies still. May the Holy Spirit come alive in me. In your name I pray. Amen.
Throughout This Day: Pick a verse of Scripture that encourages or comforts you. Read it whenever you need to feel the peace of God.