Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times the things that are not yet done, saying my counsel shall stand, and I will do all my pleasure. Yea, I have spoken it, I will also bring it to pass; I have purposed it, I will also do it.” Isaiah 46:10, 11b (AKJV)

About the age of 30 I started developing anxiety issues. One March I came down with a severe chest cold. I made an appointment with my doctor fully expecting him to simply write me a prescription. I did not expect him to send me for chest x-rays. Even though he tried to reassure me it was a typical procedure, at that point, all of the reassurance in the world could not have stopped the overwhelming panic that gripped my body and mind. By the time I walked from the office to the x-ray department I had myself diagnosed, dead, and buried. This would not be the last time that anxiety would rob me of common sense and leave me feeling depressed and scared – even unto death. Why is it, that as a Christian, I still have such an unprecedented fear of dying? I know that I am going to heaven. So what’s to fear?

I have come to realize that medical problems and ultimately death are things that we really have no control over; herein lays my anxiety. That control lies in the hands of my God. As I learn to relinquish my need for that control I learn to rest easier in the arms of the One who holds my life in His power. I will never be completely free of my fear, but every day I try to give a little bit more of it to the only One that has the power to free me.

In what area of your life do you still try to maintain control? Is there an area that you need to hand over to God?

Dear God, my fears trap me and keep me from allowing You full control of my life. Dear Lord, I pray that every day I wake up willing to hand you the things I cannot control. Please give me the courage to leave them with you, even as my sin nature struggles to take them back. You know me as no other and you know my inner struggle. I pray that You give me peace, even as I give you the control. In your name, I pray, amen.

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Tags: anxiety Isaiah worry death