When I look back on what my life was like five years ago, I never would have imagined my life today. I am so grateful for how my Father has planned my journey and guided me every step of the way, bringing me to where I am now.
Back then, though, I had big hopes. Yes, for financial stability and independence, but I had bigger hopes for my own personal growth.
No more people-pleasing - only my audience of One! No more striving to live by my own strength - by God’s strength alone! No more slaving away to productivity - Sabbath rest will always be a priority!
Or so I had hoped.
Just this week, I was confronted with the reality that my people-pleasing tendency runs deep. I was on vacation with my family and I kept on worrying about whether or not everyone was having a good time. I couldn’t care less about my own experience or how much I was enjoying myself. I caught myself in the middle of trying to make everyone around me happy.
Really, God? I thought I learned this lesson already! I know I can’t control how others feel, but here I am, still trying to. I’m so tired of fighting this in my life. I should know better.
In the middle of a busy work week, I easily slip into “machine” mode – typing away, eyes rarely lifting off the screen, my back sore from sitting in the same position for hours.
I need to get this done. I need to get that done. If I don’t finish this, I’m not a hard worker – wait. That’s not true. Why am I attaching my worth to how much I get done… again?? I thought I learned this lesson already! I’m tired of this pressure I put on myself. I should know better.
Are you weary of any patterns in your life? Maybe there are sinful or destructive behaviors, or maybe there are some that aren’t so bad on the surface but can easily lead you astray.
On this side of heaven, you and I need to remind ourselves that we will grow weary of trying to be good enough. God does not expect us to overcome our struggles on our own. He does sometimes grant victory over sinful patterns, but in many cases, he invites you and me, his weary beloved, to hope in him. Why? Because he has so much to give us!
How can we wait expectantly on the Lord for renewal if we are never tired? How can our Father give us strength if we never admit we are weak?
Hang on to him. The King of Kings will renew you with hope as you wait on him. He will increase your faith with boldness as you trust him to work in you. As you continue to abide in him, his Spirit will sustain you and make you more like Jesus.
Jesus, I want to follow you wholeheartedly. I am tired of my sinful desires and the patterns in my life that do not honor you. Forgive me for living for myself. I want to live for you today and every day. I put my hope in you. Holy Spirit, work in me what pleases you. Help me to not grow weary, but to soar on wings like eagles. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Additional Resource: Spiritual Oxygen: Don't Wait To Exhale
Photo Credit: Photo by Ben Lowe on Unsplash