The Fruit of Unforgiveness

I have never considered myself one for holding grudges, or hanging onto unresolved resentment. For some reason I’ve always thought myself to be exempt from these particular behaviors. But the truth is, I have just become really good at stuffing down any bitterness that has reared its ugly head. I am the queen of avoiding undesired feelings, allowing them to fester in the background until they can no longer be ignored.

Unforgiveness is one of the many dangerous seeds in life that has the potential of turning something as simple as a hurt feeling or an imposition into something nasty and damaging. I’m not saying that every source of unforgiveness is simple and I am in no way trying to diminish the serious wrongs that we may have experienced. I am merely attempting to articulate the extreme results that unforgiveness can bring.

Forgiveness does not mean excusing bad behavior, or forgetting the incident altogether. But if we don’t learn to forgive in our hearts, the problem only grows into resentment, bitterness, and anger. These are the fruit of unforgiveness and are heart positions that can inhibit the Holy Spirit from working through us.

It seems to me that resentment is often the first fruit of the refusal to forgive. It is so easy to keep a mental tally of all the wrongs done to us by a specific person, or people group. Once we’ve allowed resentment to creep in, we’ll find that the perpetrator can no longer do anything right in our eyes, and day after day, their wrongs begin to stack up.

Resentment often grows when expectations aren’t met by another. We are all sinful, weak human beings bumbling our way through life, and we stomp on the toes of those we love from time to time. I have seen many relationships ruined by resentment born out of unforgiveness.

When resentment goes unchecked, it can give birth to a bitter spirit. This is where the sensitivity of the offense has begun to sour into something ugly. You know the look. When you bring up a sensitive topic and their face twists up like they’ve bitten into an un-ripened lemon. It can leave a bad taste in your mouth long after you’ve walked away. This is where nothing nice can be said regarding the topic and others will begin to avoid bringing it up.

Finally, when bitterness grows into its full adult-state it becomes angry. Anger is a tricky one, as the Bible documents many moments in which God has been angry. But be careful, because his is a righteous anger, blameless in every way. Anger in itself is not a sin. It is an emotion; however, it is an emotion that can easily be twisted into something dark and controlling.

When anger begins as the fruit of unforgiveness, it is already rooted in sin. This is where it will begin to seep out into your whole being. It will begin to darken your outlook in every aspect of life. When you are wronged again in another area, you will hold onto the resentment quicker, and it will turn into bitterness with an ease of already having walked that path.

The largest fruit of unforgiveness there is, would be the fact that unforgiveness, in itself, is sin; and sin separates us from God. When we allow sin to enter our lives, we are allowing a chasm to grow between us and our Father and we miss out on the intimacy of getting to know him and allowing him to work through us. If he isn’t working through us, we will not be able to exhibit the fruit of his Holy Spirit.

Ultimately, sin leads to eternal death and separation from God. There is nothing you can do in your own power to rectify this except to confess your sin, surrender it all over to him, and ask for his help in moving forward.

Let’s not allow the sins of unforgiveness, resentment, bitterness and anger come between us and our Savior. Let’s repent of our sin, treat others with love and respect, and stay alert so that these evil fruits don’t take root in our lives when we least expect it.

Father, you know the bits of unforgiveness that I struggle with. I want to give them to you now. Wash me clean and help me to forgive more easily in the future. I do not want my unforgiveness to slowly take over my heart in resentment, bitterness and anger. Show me how to let go so that I can love others well. Amen

Throughout this day: Pray for those who you struggle to forgive. Pray for their needs and for their hurts. I have found that it is hard to hold onto unforgiveness long when you are taking any offenders before the Lord in regular prayer. It may not happen immediately, but over time you’ll see your heart soften and forgiveness take hold.