Song of Freedom

My Song of Freedom

brokenness was once my anthem
not that i willingly chose that melody
but it had a rhythm from which i could not escape
i knew my heart was created to beat to a different song
a completely different tune in a much higher key
but i could not help but nod my head to the simplistic, debased, hypnotizing beat
it’s as if it was composed just for me

its creator, i knew, was not my friend
he was not only my enemy
but also the enemy of my Father

there were moments when the melody of my soul’s True Friend grew louder
i realize it was only because i would give in to the pull of His tether to my heart
but all the while
i could hear the all-too-familiar anthem of brokenness faint in the background
calling me to return to my enemy

for too many years, i was held captive
no matter how hard i tried to tune out the melody of my false friend
his grip on me was relentless
impossible, i thought, i’ll never know true freedom until my Friend returns and makes all things new

already my Friend had given me everything
and even though i could not grasp or see it in its fullness
it was mine, guaranteed, and no one could take it away from me

but not yet
my false friend loved when i danced to his rhythm
my computer screen as his lure, anything to entice my gaze long enough for my heart to give in
for my body to crave more
for my soul to grow cold
for my Friend to be grieved

his grip on me was relentless but His was all the more

selah

Thank God he gave me victory
I can finally breathe as if I’d never truly breathed before
The immense weight of shame is no longer on my shoulders
There are days when I hear my old anthem playing faintly in the background
But I don’t let myself listen to it long enough to try to figure out where it’s coming from or strategize how to turn down its volume

Instead, I run

I run to my Father
I run to His Word that never leaves me unsatisfied
I run to meet my God where I see and feel Him ever so near
Among the trees, among the birds
Among His image-bearers who love to sing His praises with me
Who declare His truths to me and over me when I’ve decided I’ve had enough of my enemy’s lies

Thank God He gave me victory for I would not know it without Him, for freedom does not exist except within Him

Brokenness was once my anthem
Death was once where I was headed
But now I run freely to the tune of
Healed
Forgiven
Death defeated
Freedom in Christ
I run freely into His marvelous light

Father, you have called me out of darkness into your marvelous light. I ask you to free me from the enemy. My heart is tempted to want what the world offers, but I know only you can satisfy. Holy Spirit, I surrender to you. Help me to live my life for you today, in true freedom. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

If you struggle to live out your freedom in Christ, you are not alone. Talk to a Christian mentor today. It’s free, confidential, and it helps: https://thelife.com/about/get-a-mentor

Here is a playlist of songs of freedom that I love to listen to: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL74n1bbzD5kpcIt17LNTgmGYsDitJnjaR