Selflessness Begins With Self-care

My primary love language (the way I often express my love for others) is acts of service – doing things for others. Running errands for them, helping them with tasks, taking on their own responsibilities when they’re overwhelmed… Over time, I’ve developed the habit of doing things for others without question – even if it means I barely have energy to take time to do things for myself.

I cannot pour from an empty cup – and neither can you.

With the help of my mentor and my therapist, I’ve been learning more about myself and some of the patterns I’ve created in my life that aren’t so healthy.

I thought it was honorable to expend all my energy to help a friend in need – disregarding the fact that I was in need, too.

I thought that loving someone unconditionally – the way Jesus did – meant that my own desire for affection, care, or a listening ear didn’t matter. I supported my loved ones wholeheartedly, and I never expected their support in return.

I may be ‘doing a good job’ at loving my neighbor, but I realize that I’m not caring for myself very well. Now, I try to create a habit of caring for my own needs, like communicating to my loved ones when I need a listening ear. I'm also learning to take time away from my phone, go for walks or a solo coffee date, even if that makes me unavailable and unreachable.

Does this make me less helpful? It might seem that way, but taking time to care for my own needs actually allows me to recharge and, ultimately, be of better service to others and to the Lord.

‘Self-care’ may sound selfish to you. But our physical and emotional needs matter! The way we care for our bodies matters to God. It is really hard to serve the Lord when you are feeling depleted and drained.

If you worry that taking time to care for yourself is selfish, remember Jesus in Luke 5. After he called his disciples to follow him and healed a man with leprosy, Jesus withdrew to lonely places and prayed, even when the crowds of needy people searched for him (Luke 5:16).

Was Jesus selfish? No – he knew the importance of withdrawing to spend time with his Father. He left the crowds so he could have refreshing communion with the Lord.

Your good and loving Father calls you into his arms, too. He wants you to receive his power (2 Peter 1:3-4). He wants you to rest in his presence (Exodus 33:14). He wants you to honor him with all that you are and have.

Selflessness – truly giving your life up for others – begins with caring for yourself so that you can better serve God and others.

Ask the Lord to feed your soul with his Word and fill your heart with joy and gladness. As you pursue self-care that honors God, the enemy will try to sway your heart into selfishness. But, as a temple of the Holy Spirit, you can be ready by equipping yourself with righteousness, peace, faith, and truth (Ephesians 6:10-17).

Do not neglect yourself today. Honor the Lord with your body.

Father, help me to recognize that you have given me this body to be used for your glory. I want to be a good steward of my energy, my thoughts, and my actions. Show me how to care for myself in a way that honors you. In this moment, I come to you and ask you to refresh my soul. I do not want to grow weary doing good. I want to rest in your power and honor you with my body, for my good and for Jesus’ glory. Amen.

I learned to honor God with my body with the help of talking to a mentor. You can talk to a Christian mentor, too, by filling out the form on this page. It’s free and confidential. https://thelife.com/about/get-a-mentor