“Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure ... surely I have a delightful inheritance.” Psalm 16:5-6
I get anxious, really anxious, when I try to make sure I know how to act. I wonder, “What will I say if someone asks me this question?” I plan, “If this person does this, then I need to do this.” I go over dialogue in my mind. I think about the exact tone in my voice I need to use to get my point across. Just like a favorite scene from a movie or TV show, I imagine how smart I will sound.
Please don’t judge me.
Though this internal rehearsal seems like a harmless personality quirk, I’ve learned that for me it is a much bigger issue. In my journey to know God and follow Him, rehearsing the future can be a symptom of pride and distrust. It enforces the lie that I control the future, not God. Not to mention what rehearsing the past can do for my emotional health. Going over past conversations in my head, hoping for a do-over is counter-productive, at the least.
God promises throughout His Word that He has got our future under control and has amazing plans for us. He knows our past and can use it for great things. Our focus needs to be in the present. Here. Right now. This moment.
Today, I can enjoy His presence anxiety-free and experience His blessings, while leaving the future and the past to Him.
God, I ask that Your Spirit in me would guide my thoughts. When I start to rehearse, help me take each thought captive and make it obedient to You by enjoying this present moment and leaving everything else to You.
Meditate on Psalm 16:7-8. Journal about the things you tend to rehearse. Consider talking to a close friend or accountability partner about this struggle. You can also talk to a mentor.