Perfect Provision

I am an extreme introvert. I start each day with a low battery of interpersonal energy and proceed to spend the entire day doing my best to make that small bit stretch as far as possible. For many years, this looked like shutting myself in my room any time that I felt burnt out. I seemed to need the quiet space to read or veg out in front of the t.v. in order to recover.

The problem with this, was that the more I did nothing, the more I did nothing. I began to feel sluggish, and my head would hurt. I would miss out on activities with my friends and family, as my weekends were spent trying to make up the lost energy from the past week so that I could in turn, make it through the next. Not only did it impact my health and the relationships with my kids and husband, it created a wedge of distrust between myself and my Lord. You see, instead of trusting God to provide all that I needed for what he called me to, I had made a plan to provide for my own recovery and provision. A plan that was unhealthy and unloving to those around me.

To me, rest was about feeling a balance of self-made peace and energy. But true rest only comes from trusting in God instead of striving to create our own provisions. I have since come to understand that if God has called me to a specific thing such as serving in my church, loving others well, or simply being a mom and wife, then he will give me every resource I need in order to carry out my task. The more I have come to lean on his provision instead of my own, the more rest I have found. Instead of these big waves of burnout, I am now more consistently sustained.

I still need those times of quiet in my room to decompress after a busy day, especially when that day has been filled with hours of superficial small talk, a screaming crowd at a rainy 5-hour rodeo, or an overstimulating weekend of my son’s soccer games. But those quiet, still times are an added bonus these days, and not the unhealthy focus of my anxiety. God’s provision is my rest, and it can be yours as well!

If God is calling you to serve him, trust that he will not leave you stranded. Because of his goodness and the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus, he will provide all that you need. “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40:31)

Dear Father, I know that you love me so much and that you find joy in taking care of me. Help me to trust that you know what’s best and that you will never leave me stranded. Love you. Amen

Throughout this day: Relinquish your idea of what rest looks like and try to trust that if God calls you to serve him, he will provide all that you need in order to obey.