Decades after I had graduated from University, I still had dreams about missing an entire course and having to write the final exam, not knowing what it was all about. Where does that come from?
Deep within us is a fear of not passing the test! Early on in the Covid-19 pandemic, I read Psalm 139:23, which said, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.” There was that word again. Test. I definitely felt like I was failing the test!
Even though I believed in my mind that God was sovereign, and had it all in his hands, my troubled heart caused me to struggle with anxiety. My body’s reactions told me I was failing the test in spite of what I knew was true.
Regardless of what I saw in the news, or how isolated I felt from friends and family, God hadn't changed and he was not wringing his hands. He was still in charge, still in control. I had to be reminded of that daily as I read Scripture.
God is the one who tests our hearts, as it says here in 1 Thessalonians. Every day is a test, to see whether or not we trust our Heavenly Father with what the day holds.
Whether in the midst of a pandemic when we are isolated in our homes, or when our lives begin to return to what we used to call normal, we are still challenged to trust and believe that God really is in control. Are you passing the test today?
*Dear Heavenly Father, Psalm 139:9-10 says, “If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.” Today God, you are with me. Your right hand will hold me fast. You are in control, and I can trust you because I am not walking this journey alone. Help me to pass the test of my heart and to give you all my anxious thoughts. Replace them with faith instead of fear. Amen.
Go Deeper — Pray this prayer from Psalm 139:23, ”Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.” As he reveals those thoughts to you, confess them and ask for his forgiveness.
Photo Credit: Ben Mullins