Obeying, Honoring, Exasperating?

On a recent road trip, my husband and I read the book, Parenting Your Adult Child: How You Can Help Them Achieve Their Full Potential by Ross Campbell & Gary Chapman.

Did you know that more parents are asking questions about how to relate to their adult children than ever before? And once the parents of adult children get to talking, it is amazing how much grief is felt and shared over broken relationships between parents and their grown kids!

Obviously, many parents have exasperated their children (even though God commanded us not to do that)! The loving balance that God intended for parents and their children in the home somehow went awry, and never got resolved. Well-meaning parents do say the wrong things to their adult children, and pay the price when their kids sometimes “divorce” (distance from) them.

Conversely, also speaking as an adult child, I have to ask whether we have somehow lost the ability to love, honor and obey parents who have done the best that they could in bringing us up in the training and instruction of the Lord? I know that, in my thirties, I had to come to terms with both what my parents did right, and where they made mistakes. Trying to move beyond the “blame game”, I did a tribute to each of my parents, based on the book The Tribute: What Every Parent Longs to Hear by Dennis Rainey. Focusing on what I appreciated brought resolution for me, and allowed me to finish “growing up” in a healthy way that accepted my less than perfect relationship with my parents.

God meant for parents and adult children to have harmonious relationships based on forgiveness and thankfulness. There is a real need for understanding between the generations who do see things differently.

Father God, please help me to see my parents the way that you see them, and help me to let go of unforgiveness and bitterness, realizing that this will just continue to eat me alive, if I let it. As much as it is in my power, help me to reconcile with my parents, to love them and honor them, for your glory. And as a parent of adult children, help me not to exasperate them! Amen.

Throughout this day: Do you need to reach out to one or both of your parents today in such a way that will honor them? (The promise is that things will go well and you will experience a long life as a result!) Parents, do you need to ask forgiveness for past hurts that you’ve caused your child? Seek for reconciliation. It is worth it!