I was giddy. Unbelievably giddy. My excitement matched what I can only imagine being given a free ticket around the world would feel like.
The day had finally come for me to move into a community house with my wife and four other people. My wife and I had always dreamed of sharing a space with like-minded people who wanted to intertwine their lives with others. But now, a few years into living out one of my greatest dreams, I find myself re-thinking it all.
Why doesn’t it feel like I thought it would? Why am I still longing for more?
When a couple from our church shared with us their vision to live in a community home, my wife and I learned that we weren’t the only ones growing frustrated with how our society was being built on needing each other less and less. Not long after, we moved in with people we barely knew (risky, I know)!
Like most dreams, however, it started to fade.
Schedules got busier and family dinners became less of a priority. Enthusiastic greetings turned into simple ‘hey’s’. Talking into the wee hours of the morning became a luxury we couldn’t afford. What I once thought was the best life had to offer suddenly wasn’t. Moving here didn’t fix my loneliness or satisfy my cultural frustrations.
I never expected I’d find myself here, left longing for more. Maybe you can relate to this feeling.
Have you joined a church thinking “this is it!” and found yourself wanting to leave a few years or months later? Have you found a friendship that just seems to ‘click’, but later on gets tiring to invest in? Do you worry when your marriage doesn’t feel like a whimsical adventure of fairy-tale love?
Before sin entered our world and hearts, humanity lived in a perfect place where we knew the fullness of God’s presence. Life was as good as it could ever be. This is what we were created to enjoy. As we navigate our fallen world now, our deep longings tell us something about this environment that we once knew so well.
Thankfully, that’s not the end of the story. What Jesus accomplished secures and promises a time to come that will be much better than your dream vacation, your promotion day, and even far better than a post-pandemic world going back to normal. We will come together in perfect union with our God.
When excitement fades and disappointments settle in, I remind myself that this community home is still what I have dreamed of. Even though it feels different, this is where I am supposed to be for now. I will keep serving, keep doing dishes, suggesting game nights, and keep loving despite any present pain.
And I will keep my gaze on things above, being thankful that the longings in my heart will one day find their fulfillment in the greatest dream of all.
These moments echo tastes of what is to come — that one day all things will be restored, all disappointments redeemed, all longings satisfied, and all of our miseries rectified.
Father, I struggle sometimes with accepting your blessings. There is something in my heart that always longs for more and I know it's a reminder that only you can truly satisfy. Help me to live each day with eternity in mind, to set my heart on you and your glory. Thank you because you are faithful to fulfill every need I have and renew me day by day. In Jesus' name. Amen.
Throughout this Day: If you’re like me and recognize in yourself a pull that never seems to be enough, don’t lose hope, and don’t give up. Remember that we were created for more. The dissatisfaction we feel right now, though painful, echoes what our hearts are longing for.