“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24

When someone experiences continual conflict or frustration in life, it helps to take a good, honest look inside. It’s easier to blame other people or circumstances on your unhappiness, but often it is your own beliefs and hang-ups that are the root cause for the struggle.

One area to explore is how your family of origin operated. What were the messages you received and believed from your parents? If your parents were stable, loving people, you may believe that you are accepted and supported no matter what. If your parents were abusive or absent, you may have received the message that you are unloved or unworthy of receiving good things in life.

Even the best parents are imperfect. Each father and mother brings his or her own beliefs, fears, and hang-ups into the parent-child relationship. If parents don’t deal with their own issues, they can pass those issues onto their children. For example, many children of addicts get into relationships with addicts. Daughters of distant fathers go from man to man, looking for the love they didn’t get from their fathers. On the flip side, children who came from loving homes might struggle in a world that doesn’t love as well.

The good news is there is a heavenly Father who loves perfectly, who understands perfectly, and who teaches His children how to navigate this confusing world.

Lord, open my eyes to the beliefs I developed as a result of my childhood. Are they holding me back? Show me the truth and show me who I am in You.


If you are struggling in the area of relationships in your life, consider talking to one of our confidential coaches, joining a support group such as Celebrate Recovery, or seeing a counsellor who can walk you through this time in your life.

Tags: Fathered Psalm 139 family