The writer of Proverbs repeatedly warned his son about marrying a quarrelsome woman.

First of all, let me say that being a wife for 31 years gives me some authority to speak on this topic. Unfortunately, my greatest credentials rest in my tendency to argue.

The dictionary defines quarrelsome as inclined to argue; fond of disputing; characterized by controversy.

Proverbs compares a quarrelsome wife to a constant dripping. Think of water torture. Drip. Drip. Drip. Think of tiny needles piercing the skin continually — not enough to draw blood, just enough to annoy. Think of a high-pitched ringing that never ends.


No one wants to see themselves as hard to get along with or disagreeable. Yet these verses convict me of my deep desire to be right. I’m quick to defend myself and insist that others acknowledge when I am right.

Yet, as I seek to follow Jesus, He shows me a different way to live.

Jesus emptied Himself of His power and became human, though He was Almighty God (Philippians 2:6-7). Instead of demanding His rights as God, He humbly obeyed the Father. In fact, Jesus said He came to earth to serve rather than to be served (Matthew 20:28).

Knowing who He was enabled Jesus to serve (John 13:3-5).

When I understand that I am a chosen and precious daughter, loved by God, I too can give up the nagging, complaining and arguing. I can set aside my need to be right and serve with humility and grace.

Heavenly Father, I don’t want to be a quarrelsome wife. Thank you for loving me and choosing me to be Your very own. Forgive my inclination to argue about everything. I surrender my need to be right to You. Fill me with Your humility and grace. Amen.

Go Deeper — This week, pay attention to how many times you have to prove you are right. Ask yourself, and God, if you are being quarrelsome or not.

Tags: Proverbs Proverbs 21
Photo Credit: Joao Tzanno