The holidays are upon us: Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year, and Epiphany. There will be joyful celebrations and cherished moments... for most.
But this might not be the case for you. If you are single, chances are people might treat you differently from your married friends. They may pry into the reasons you’ve not managed to secure “the one” or look for flaws proving your inadequacy. Others may sympathetically try to set you up and seem disappointed when it doesn’t work out. As if you’re to blame in some way.
I know. I’ve been through it year after year. I won’t lie. I pine for that special someone God has yet to reveal in my life. I yearn for a companion who will walk with me in faith. There are times when I wonder, Do you even remember me, God? Plenty of magazines will share articles on how to survive the holidays. But the thing is, you and I aren’t meant to simply survive them. We’re meant to live a fibrant, abundant Christian life. So instead, I’m going to share with you how to enjoy the holidays as a single woman.
1. Focus On Your Own Spiritual Health
It’s the end of the year. I’ve already seen people sharing their spiritual resolutions for next year. But there’s a whole month before the end of the year! Strengthen your relationship with God during this time. Spend more time in prayer and meditation. Make thanksgiving a daily attitude, prepare for Christmas with fasting and petition, make the New Year the launch for a new ministry or a personal spiritual milestone. In short, sow the seeds of faith, hope, joy, and love in your soul.
2. Concentrate On Your Existing Relationships
I can’t stress how important this is. Last year, after my dad passed away, I realized I’d spent many Christmases away from my family. I was working or studying and I hadn’t been home to be with him. How much I regret not celebrating all those Christmases with him, telling him how much he meant to me! God has blessed you with many people in your life. So this Christmas season, make peace with them, shower your love on them, help them if they’re struggling spiritually, and tell them how thankful you are for them. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you how to meet their needs. You never know when God may call them home.
3. Stay In The Moment
Everyone’s in a hurry to get nowhere fast. We so often focus either on the future or the past. Stop doing that! Enjoy the present moment. Everything is in God’s hands and he can make up for lost time. He wants you to enjoy the moment (Matthew 6:34). Take in the rich color of the falling leaves, feel the bite of cold on your nose, enjoy the scents of pumpkin and cinnamon, of sweets and eggnog. Revel in the laughter of children and the cheery jokes of the old. Enjoy a goofy dance with your parents, share recipes with your siblings, and bake with and for your friends and coworkers. You’re a single woman by God’s design. God has given you this time for a reason.
4. Live In The Light Of God
Are you really living? Or are you just surviving one day to the next? If you’re bogged down by shame, guilt, self-pity, hurt, sadness, or sin, then invite the Spirit to examine your conscience and reveal any unconfessed sin to you during your prayer time. Ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten you. Recognize your need for God’s forgiveness,thank you for the perfect forgiveness Christ offers through his death on the cross, seek to restore any broken relationshis, and move on. God is all-forgiving. He sent his only Son to pay the price for your sins. God has wiped your slate clean. You are his daughter, and God already sees you as blameless, sinless, transformed in the image of his Son (Romans 8).
5. Always Remember, You Are NOT Alone
Single does not mean lonely. God has promised to be with you always until the end of time (Matthew 28:20). He has carved your name in the palm of his hand (Isaiah 49:16). No man will die for you, no man will look for you when you’re lost, and your mother may even forget about you from time to time. But not God. His Son would have died for you, even if you were the only one in this world. What love our Savior has for us! If you think you’re alone, look around you. God is using others to take care of you... or asking you to take care of them. Think about those he has placed in your life: lonely neighbors, the sick and homebound, children without a parent, or widows in need of assistance. You know them for a reason, so bloom where you are planted, because God is always with you.
Before the holidays begin, I hope you will plan ways to enjoy these days. Singleness is a time for sowing, growing, and knowing that no matter what happens in your life, God always wants what’s best for you.
If you find yourself feeling alone and heart broken this holiday season, please know that you don't have to journey alone. You can connect with one of our free and confidential mentors for prayer, support, and a listening ear. Just use the form in the "Connect" tab below.