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Recession-Proof Your Marriage

Written by Jacqueline Overpeck

In the United States today many married couples are facing greater financial difficulty than ever before. The housing market has cooled and thousands of families are struggling to keep their homes. The Mayo Clinic cites financial problems as one of the chief reasons why married couples need counseling (1).

A typical recession only lasts a few months, but it is a painful run and can have devastating consequences.  Just as we need to take action to protect our finances in times of recession, we need to take steps to protect our families as well.  Don’t let a financial crisis foreclose on your marriage.

Fiery financial darts

As Christian married couples, we are in this world—but not of it. (See John 17:15-18.) It’s important to note that being in this world means that we face the same obstacles as everyone else. The difference is that we have the Lord Jesus to help us with both our financial and marital issues.

It doesn’t take long for the strain of economic woes to clog your peace of mind.

What happens to you when you’re filled with financial worry? What happens to your spouse? Many of us become moody and as cranky as  a wet cat, and we eat lots of chocolate—right?

The book of John tells us that we’ve been equipped with the same glory that God gave to Jesus (John 17:22). That glory unites us with the Lord and with our spouse.  The Greek word for glory is doxa, which denotes honor and respect. During times of increased financial strain it’s important to extend extra doxa — honor and respect — to your spouse. Financial downturn provides you with a unique opportunity to lift your marriage partner up while you look for practical solutions together.

The Lord is there when you sit with your spouse at the kitchen table and pour over your bills. James 1:5 encourages us that God will give you wisdom when you ask him for his help. God is the expert at making a way where there seems to be no way. (See Isaiah 42:16 to find a promise for the Lord’s help.) But, even still, human nature makes us tense up when money worries abound.

Predictors of a love recession

When debt soars, dryness results. At one time, you may have been glowing, but financial pressure can lead to a sense of lethargy and a general lack of interest. Your spouse senses it when this happens to you. To him/her it starts to feel like all of the excitement is gone.

Often times in an economic recession the Federal Reserve will step in and cut interest rates to balance the economic situation (2). Whether or not that’s always the best solution is a matter of debate, but for the sake of this example, let’s consider the potential benefits. Just like the United States as a country counts on the Federal Reserve to help bring stability, we as citizens of heaven can look to God for a strategy on how to steady our financial frets in marriage.

Go back over Isaiah 42 and remind yourself of God’s promise.  Ask Him to help you and try these ways to protect your marriage from suffering a slump along with a distressed economy:

• Know what God says: “For the LORD God is a sun and shield; The LORD will give grace and glory; No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” Psalm 84:11  In stressful times, our quiet moments in the Word can get lost.  Guard that time.
• Prayer: “Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.” Jeremiah 33:3 Pray often.  Claim God’s promises for your family and leave your concerns at His feet.
• Pursue patience: “Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!” (Psalm 27:14).  Patience is one of the hardest disciplines.  Know that God is with your in your waiting and spend the time with Him.
• Apply understanding: “A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1).  When we’re stressed it’s easy to lose sight of the other person’s intentions or needs.  Ask God for clarity and for the patience to truly listen to what your spouse is saying.
• Double up on God’s idea of romance: “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).  You may not feel romantic, but you can use these verses as a practical guide to be romantic towards your spouse.  An investment in your marriage will be dividends far beyond anything you’ll ever have in the bank.

Home prices have fallen, but your love and marriage don’t have to fluctuate negatively with market downs. Remember that in God’s economy things are different. Loss is gain. The weak are made strong. (See Isaiah 40:29 and 2 Corinthians 12:9.)  When you and your spouse choose to take stock in God’s word, you’ll experience new mercy and the benevolent dividends that it provides.

Your greatest assets are your relationships with the Lord and with the loved ones that he has given to you. No matter what economic season the world is in, you are hedged in heaven’s care. Won’t you share that encircling love with your husband or wife today? When you do, you’re affirming your faith, as a couple, in Jehovah Jireh your provider. He’s the Lord who sees your every need and meets it!

And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19)

Notes:

1. Mayo Clinic, “Marriage counseling: Working through relationship problems”
2. MSN Money Investing, Stocks Soar after Fed Acts

* All verses taken from the New King James Version (NKJV) of the Bible.

Tags: finances, Jacqueline Overpeck, marriage, Men, relationship, Women