"A lot of people get married because they think the purpose of marriage is sharing an emotional infatuation. But that’s not strong enough. […] James 3:2 promises us that our spouse is going to sin against us in a lot of ways […] and so we have to look at what we’re willing to live with.” — Gary Thomas

Expectations — whether they’re too high or too low — can have a major impact on the success of your marriage. Gary Thomas, bestselling author of Sacred Marriage, claims that some people set the bar too low and settle too quickly. They find someone they’re attracted to and bet their life that they can make it work. Others set the bar so high that no one could ever measure up. As Thomas points out in this video, our expectations are backwards.

When you’re looking for a spouse, spend some time looking at how he or she responds to conflict. Do they know how to forgive? Are they able to compromise? Can they admit their failures? How will you handle it when you can’t meet each other’s expectations?

updated September 2019

Photo Credit: Guian Bolisay